Winter Woes

Hi friends. This winter has been exhausting… both physically and mentally. When I’m not shoveling the white stuff that falls from the sky, I’m home bound and fighting the ravages of cabin fever.

Under these circumstances, my mind seems to wander and what follows is the product of this dynamic. This is a worthless rambling of my idleness and while I am not ashamed of my writings, I am not especial proud of them either. They are what they are. Stash

* The yarn salesman promised to deliver his wares but never did. He was just stringing me along.

* An archeology magazine was devoted to articles about the extinction of the dinosaurs. I found it to be a dead issue.

* The astronaut’s recipe for lasagna was absolutely out of this world.

* Selling yo-yos for a living is a difficult occupation…. it has just too many ups and downs.

* It revolts me to look at cows…I guess I suffer from a severe case of udder disgust.

* The sheriff caught the train robbers. He did it by tracking them.

* I was once addicted to pasting stamps on envelopes… but I licked that habit.

* The child tried to hide his measles but he was spotted anyway.

* Scientists say fish talk to each other but that sounds fishy to me.

* On general principles, the sergeant of arms believed in corporal punishment.

* The skies clouded up and then the world ended. A final case of gloom and doom.

*Did you hear of the flat chested woman, who got saline implants? She decided to make a breast of a bad situation.

* The cow refused her bull suitor because she simply was not in the moo-d.

* The Amish farmer had his minister bless a pile of manure fertilizer so that when, at harvest time, folks asked how he grew such wonderful produce, he could shout “Holy Crap!”

* The directions said that a child could put the toy together but I think they were feeding me an assembly line.

* I couldn’t cook the frozen leg of lamb because it was chilled to the bone.

* Snow removal was accomplished with salt purchased through the road department’s slush fund.

* We debated the merits of eating hot dogs. Needless to say, it was a frank discussion.

* The young lady received a Valentine made of ice cream and her heart simply melted.

That’s it for now folks. I hope I haven’t wasted too much of your time… u-m-m gotta go… gotta figure out where I put my snow shovel.

Keep warm,

Stash

Leave a Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *